Don't Forget the Milk...

And these three things remain: trust steadily in God (faith), hope unswervingly (hope), and love extravagantly (love). But the best and GREATEST of these is LOVE. (1 Corinthians 13:13)                                                                                                  

My childhood years from around the time I was 7 until I was 11 are my fondest memories. We lived in California and I had two of the most precious neighborhood friends. We had such fun together riding bikes, playing various games in the park, playing tennis, going swimming, having picnics, playing baseball and street hockey, rollerskating on the volleyball court slab...we had lots of special games we would play, and we also enjoyed creating things together--especially cookies! One day, we decided to try a cookie recipe that was pretty involved, but it sounded really interesting and delicious.

We read the recipe and got out all of the ingredients, laying each of them out on the table. One by one, we measured, poured, and mixed. As we rolled out the dough, we noticed it wasn't sticking together very well, but since we had never made cookies like this before, we just assumed that it was normal. After all of our hard work, we pulled the cookies out of the oven, let them cool, and carefully removed them from the pan. With much excitement, we both took a big bite...only to want to spit it out immediately, because they did NOT taste good at ALL!

We were so confused! We had read the directions, we had laid the ingredients out, and we had spent so much time and energy preparing these. We sifted the flour, we cracked the eggs, we measured the sugar, we spooned out the vanilla, we poured the...MILK! We suddenly both realized that we had somehow failed to get the milk from the table into the actual bowl of cookie batter. We had all of the other ingredients there, but because of forgetting just one, all of our time and energy was wasted.

In 1 Corinthians, we read that there are three things that remain after everything else is said and done: faith, hope, and love, but that the GREATEST out of ALL of those things is love.

I can have faith in God, I can put my hope and trust in Him, and I can share who He is with others, but the Bible says that if my main motivation isn't love, then all of my efforts are in vain.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:7-11)

I feel like I fail at this a hundred times a day! When I get frustrated at my kids for not listening to me, when we're running late and I let my stress alter my mood, when I respond harshly to my husband, when my heart has been hurt by someone and I allow that to influence my speech about them...I could list so.many.examples of ways I extinguish the love from my actions. And could it be the reason it's difficult for me to find love for my actions is because I'm not spending time drawing it from Love itself--God? If I truly believe that Jesus loves me, then I can't help but share that and show that to others. This is something I so desire to work on, to pause before I respond and say, "Am I being patient? Is that kind? Am I looking out for myself or for others? Am I harboring bitterness towards that person?" And why? Because ^"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

I may fail at showing love, but He does not, because it's Who He is. May I be so consumed with my Jesus that I don't just set Him out and forget about Him amidst everything else, but truly pour Him out into all I do...

wisdom...

sporting my overalls the night I met DH, 2000

I may have spent the majority of my life in Texas, but I never have considered myself a country girl...except when it comes to overalls! I have quite the collection of embarrassing junior high and high school (okay, and maybe college) photos of me sporting some overalls--khaki, denim, patched, etc. I was stylin'! Or so I thought;-) I was actually even wearing overalls when I met the love of my life...which, perhaps, is the reason why it wasn't exactly "love at first sight." Thankfully, DH's eyes went more than skin deep, and he was able to look past my fashion faux-pas. I eventually tossed my go-to 90's grunge, but not before a trip to "Saddle Ridge Ranch" in 2010.

All dressed up for Saddle Ridge Ranch, 2010

Shortly after moving to a small west Texas town when Lucy was just 2 and a half, I got to help lead the music for VBS at our church. The theme was "Saddle Ridge Ranch" that year, so it was the perfect excuse to dust off the old overalls! Lucy was like my little shadow back then--we did EVERYthing together! So, when Mommy was working on VBS music and motions, so was Lucy, meaning that Lucy knew the songs better than probably anyone else. Back then, they were really good about incorporating the entire memory verse for the week into the theme song. That particular week's focus was James 1:5:

Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him.

It was also during that summer that we began trying to potty train Lucy. Seeing how Lucy was able to pick up on VBS songs so easily, and in an effort for me to not totally lose it temper-wise, Lucy and I used her potty breaks to work on scripture memorization, so James 1:5 was one of her very first scriptures to hide in her heart.

Fast-forward to the summer of 2016. Neither of us were sporting overalls, but we were sporting some confusion instead. I knew the Lord had called us to continue homeschooling Lucy, but every time I thought about ordering her curriculum for this school year, I felt like someone put their foot down on the brakes. If you know me even a little bit, you probably have picked up on my disdain for change. (Hence why I was still so willingly sporting 90's fashion in the 2000's!) I just assumed we would continue using the same curriculum we had used the year before. However, my heart was so unsettled. I had noticed some changes in Lucy over the summer, and I just felt so uneasy with what was going to be best for her for this coming school year. As I looked at different options, nothing gave me a peace. And as everyone else was gearing up for the first day of school, I was feeling the pressure that I hadn't even chosen her curriculum for the school year, and much more actually ordered it! That's when the Lord dug James 1:5 out of the depths of my heart. I sat before him one morning and boldly said, "Lord, I know that You've promised that if I lack wisdom that I should ask You and that you will give it to me freely. I don't know what to do with Lucy this year, but I know You know exactly what she needs. I need You to reveal whatever that is to me. You've promised to give me answers generously and without criticizing, so please do that." Just a few hours later, I felt compelled to do a google search for homeschool academies. The first place that popped up had exactly what I was looking for for Lucy, and when I e-mailed them, I received a response within moments. I immediately had a peace wash over me, and I just knew this was the Lord giving me the wisdom I had boldly asked Him for.

I'm not sure why I get so surprised when the Lord answers my prayers so quickly and clearly. I think my faith is often so small and hesitant, and yet the Lord doesn't criticize me--He loves me and He graciously responds.

I'm sure there will be many challenges this school year, but I want to hold tight to the Truth that God has directed our steps so clearly, so we can be confident that He will continue guiding us on this path.

When I picked Lucy up from her first day of classes, I asked her, "So, was it everything that you hoped it would be?" She paused and said, "Nope. It was MORE!" I think that pretty much sums up what our heavenly Daddy does for His precious children. He so desires to give His children good gifts, and they are always beyond what we could fathom. Big or small, God cares about every one of our concerns, and He has a plan laid out specifically for each of our lives. The journey may be full of twists and turns (and possibly some fashion mishaps), but He promises to give us the wisdom we need to travel to exactly where He would have us be.

Sixteen years ago...

September 11, 2000, I was studying on the third floor of the music building. I'm not really sure why my friend and I chose the music building for the study session, because it was a test for a health and wellness course. But we did...

During that same time, a fellow music major I had never met was headed up to practice for his senior recital. It wasn't surprising that we hadn't met--he was an upperclassman and a vocal major, so our paths really had no reason to cross. Except they did...

Our first (of many) Chickfila lunch dates

You probably have guessed by now (or you've heard the story so many times that you could tell it yourself;-) that 9-11-00 was the night I met DH. It seems like forever ago, and yet if I shut my eyes right now, I can picture it all just as if I were still sitting on that bench on the third floor 16 years ago...

A year later, I found myself walking to that same building when a friend stopped me and shared what was all over the news. People who were heading in for just another day of work...people who were just taking a flight to get home...people who's plans changed last minute and placed them on one of those planes or in one of those buildings...I can't begin to fully imagine the horror felt by those closest to those people...

So what do those two years have in common, other than a date? When I think of what happened on 9-11-01, I think of total upheaval. I think of literal ashes...but then I also think of the strength and the beauty of the American people coming together to stand as one. And when I think of 9-11-00, I see the start of a journey filled with upheaval and ashes, yet a God who has made beauty and given strength through it all for these past sixteen years. We don't always have control over our circumstances, but we always have control over our response to them. Fifteen years ago, the American people chose to respond with a message of unity. And sixteen years ago, Michael and I began a journey that would test that very thing in us over and over again. 

In no way do I compare the struggles of my life to the struggles faced by others, but I can't help but reflect on these two dates in my own personal timeline and how they have impacted my life. 

sitting on the same bench I was sitting at when I met DH

God continually reminds me that He is ultimately in control. He is the one who directs our steps, and while man may try to alter the course, in the end, we know HE will conquer. We have to choose which side we are going to be on though. Will I let anger engulf me and fear cripple me, or will I stand on the Rock?

So today, I reflect on the past while I gaze toward the future, and I ask the Lord to help me stand firmly upon His truths. And oh, how I thank Him for placing such an incredible man in my life who shows Jesus to me every single day! As DH sang this morning while leading God's people in worship, I echo his heart's cry to not fear the war or the storm but be confident that God is always with us, no matter what.