Faith of a Mustard Seed...

Have you noticed in the Bible how Jesus is always so eager to let the children come to him?  Unfortunately, our society often views children as an annoyance, but in reality, children were meant to be a blessing.  I'm always amazed at the BIG truths I learn from my two little blessings, the latest being from my Lucy-bug...

Before we adopted Gabriel, Lucy would pray daily for her baby brother AND sister.  She was convinced we would be adopting twins. So when we adopted Gabriel, she was so excited about having a brother, but she said, "I prayed for a sister, too tho, momma, so you're going to have a baby!"  I smiled at her confidence and said, "well, I don't know if that's possible honey, but you can pray and ask God for that.  He doesn't always answer our prayers exactly the way that we want Him to, but He always answers in the very best way." So, for over a year, Lucy has been praying for her baby sister.  She's even gone as far as TELLING people that I have a baby in my belly!  I've had to have a few conversations with her about this.  (Those of you who have struggled with infertility can understand how difficult it is to have people coming up to you congratulating you on a pregnancy that you don't have.) I tried to explain to her that mommy might not ever be able to have a baby in my belly, but she refused to believe it.  She would just say, "Momma, I KNOW you're going to have a baby in your belly," and I would just smile at her determination, but even more at her faith...  

When you've struggled for so long for something, it's easy to lose that faith.  I will admit that while being able to get pregnant is something that hasn't left my prayer journal pages for years, I had gotten to the point where I wasn't praying for it with very great expectation.  I think a part of that was a way of trying to protect myself from disappointment, but at the same time, I think the Lord had blessed me with a peace in His ultimate plan.  After going through the adoption process and seeing God's hand all over bringing Gabriel into our family, I was so comforted by the beauty of His perfect plan.  I know without a doubt that Gabriel is the baby we had longed to parent and had cried for and prayed for for so very long.  No biological child could ever have filled that void in our mommy and daddy and big sister hearts.  So I believe in this last year God has taught me a lot about trusting His very perfect plan.  That doesn't mean His plan is always easy for us, but I can say with full confidence that it is always best. So, my prayers began to shift, asking the Lord to give us the desire for what HIS plan is for our family...and on August 15, He showed us just what that was...

I'm pregnant!

We are in SHOCK, and we are so overwhelmed by God's kindness to allow us to expand our family.  When we told Lucy, she kept saying, "I just can't believe that God answered my prayer!"  I am so excited to see her faith grow and to see our family grow.  Gabriel will get to experience the joy of being a big brother, and DH and I will get to learn the balance of being outnumbered:-)

What's so cool about the whole thing is to see God's fingerprints covering all of the details.  Just one example: We have not had maternity coverage since we were pregnant with Lucy, and DH's new insurance just went into effect right before we got pregnant--which includes maternity coverage.

When we first learned of this pregnancy, our baby was the size of a mustard seed, and I cannot think of a more fitting analogy to make other than that.  In Matthew 17:20, we read this:

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Lucy has truly had faith the size of a mustard seed.  When she found out about this little one she exclaimed, "MOM!  This is Gabriel's TWIN that I prayed for!"  I just love that sweet little girl:) and I won't be at all surprised if our "baby mustard seed" turns out to be a girl.  After all, there's nothing quite as powerful as the faith of a small child...