Clearing the Path...

Lucy had the opportunity to audition for a play this last month. She was beside herself with excitement over the thought of getting to portray one of her very favorite characters: Lucy, from "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe." (I actually got the name for my Lucy from reading that book back in junior high. I love everything that her character represents!) She was constantly reading over the script and rehearsing lines; she was determined to get that part!
I had no idea how many other little girls felt the same way though. The amount of little girls with braided pigtails in their hair lined up for auditions was overwhelming! (My conservative guess would be at least 30.) I was SO proud of how Lucy bravely marched herself into that audition room and delivered her line boldly, passionately, and with excitement. She felt confident in her performance, and she was SO anxious to hear the results.

My view peeking into the audition room:)

So when I get the email the following day with the cast list not including her name, my heart didn't just sink down into my stomach--it felt like it hit the floor. My mind raced, wondering how on earth I was going to be able to deliver the news to her. I took a deep breath and asked her to come over to where I was. I grabbed her delicate hands and looked into her precious face and asked her, 

"Do you know that Jesus loves you, and that He has an amazing plan for you, even if it's not the one you want it to be?" 

I think she knew what was coming as she nodded and said "yes." I held her for a long time and found myself crying, knowing that my baby was hurting, yet also trusting that God had a plan and wouldn't waste this hurt. As I hugged Lucy tightly, I suddenly had an image of Jesus holding me close over a decade ago, when I would find myself almost unable to breathe through the tears after discovering, over and over again, that we weren't pregnant. He held each one of those tears, knowing He had something amazing in store while still hurting with His child. 

I believe with all my heart that God never wastes our pain. I know He hears our cries, and He longs to hold us through the hurt, assuring us of His love for us. I think we so often want to be told, "It's going to be okay."

But God didn't promise us that.

In fact, He told us we WOULD face trials in this life. ("In this world you WILL have trouble..." John 16:33) But He also told us that those trials produce "perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame..." (Romans 5:4-5a) In other words, our trials bring us closer to Him, and the closer we are to Him, the more we can feel Him embracing us. It's a mystery to those who do not know Him as their Father, but God blesses us with trials so that we can know His love more deeply. 

As a momma, I don't ever want to see my babies hurt. But as a child of God, my desire for my babies to know and love Christ trumps anything else. If we could see all of the fires we will be asked to walk through, I have a feeling we would never leave home without an extinguisher. We'd have our kids wrapped up in a plastic bubble to shield them from hurt and from harm...but it would also keep them from feeling love and experiencing blessings from others.  My heart so desires to say I can praise God through the storm. I want my kids to see that in me so that they can learn how to do the same. You see, while storms can do a lot of damage, God uses them to provide the Earth with

practicing for this weekend's audition

refreshment. So, when we go through trials, God is actually raining down His blessing upon us.

This weekend, Lucy has another opportunity to audition for a musical. It's an opportunity that she would not have been able to take had she gotten the role she auditioned for last month. This one is through an educational theatre run by a Christian woman who desires for children to learn all the wonderful aspects involved in theatre. I'm so excited that the Lord led us in this direction! And He did so by clearing a path that was only made visible after a storm...