Traffic Lights...

Thursdays are what DH and I refer to as "date day." Three of the four kids are in school, so we try not to plan anything during the lunch hour so that we can go out to eat together. Considering the fact that we still have Tiny T with us, it's technically nowhere near a romantic getaway, but we really enjoy our Thursday "Toller trio" dates. Last Thursday, I had a physical therapy appointment for my neck, so Evangeline got to hang out with Daddy in his office for a bit while I had needles poked through the muscles of my back and neck (I'm getting desperate, y'all!), and she ended up falling asleep watching Buck Denver in his office, so instead of waking her (by child number four, you just know better!) we decided it would be better for me to just bring some takeout up to the church and have a picnic in DH's office. (Any time spent together is a plus in our book!:)

Anyway, after I picked up our food, I pulled out onto what is possibly one of the busiest streets in our area of the city we live in, only to discover that the stoplights were blinking red. As you probably know, this means that everyone has to treat the crossroads as a four-way stop. The only problems is that there are multiple lanes, and apparently, every single car in every single lane of every single side had an agenda that was far more pressing than anyone else's. It was mass chaos! Have you ever seen those old black and white films of people driving before there were stoplights?

It's crazy trying to make sense of it all! However, even with proper guidelines set in place for these types of situations (which everyone with a current drivers license is supposed to know to have been able to pass the exam to receive a license) all bets were basically off. People are so used to the obvious laws that traffic symbols provide us that once you take those away, we don't know how to respond with the freedom to act on our own free will. A part of me wanted to just sit and give up and not even move my car at all, just out of the fear that I was going to get hit. And then at another point (because there were multiple lights that were down) I found myself wanting to be extremely aggressive and just go for it, not even knowing if it was actually my turn or not but just getting it over with and getting to my destination.

I then discovered I was chuckling at myself. I didn't know how to respond to an opportunity without the typical boundaries set in place--boundaries that are there to provide order and safety--and it appeared that no one else did either.

I immediately thought of how this so relates to our spiritual lives. God has so lovingly placed boundaries in our lives because He knows they will help guide us in the right direction. They make it clearer which direction to go and when we should go in that direction. They keep us from stumbling into things we should not, from crashing into obstacles, and from running over others hastily. Boundaries often seem confining, but they exist to keep us safe. We get frustrated when they stop us at inconvenient times, or when they slow us down before we want, but that's because we can't see beyond them, and our Heavenly Daddy can. You see, He loves us too much to not give us boundaries.  What we so often see as confinement and even punishment is actually a loving place of safety our Father has provided specifically for us to thrive within for our good and His glory.

We are currently dealing with an almost two year old who does NOT like to be confined and restricted by any means whatsoever. She refuses to stay put in her crib, fights being placed in her carseat, discovers ways to climb over any baby gate, and is not detoured by any type of child proof lid, latch or lock. To say we are exhausted is an understatement, for it has to encompass every portion of the word mentally, physically, etc. But what a picture this precious child is to me of my relationship with my Daddy-God. I am constantly having to tell her "no" and to pull her away from things that will harm her and that are not good for her, and she continually refuses to listen to me and runs back to them out of her own selfish desires, but out of my love for her, I passionately pursue her to ensure her safety with the goal that she will one day learn to follow these goals on her own will. I am relentless in my pursuit of her until that time though because I love her too much to let her harm herself.

Do we truly grasp our Daddy-God's love for us--the height and the depth and the greatness of it? He has spared nothing to show it to us, and He continually pours it out to us. Sometimes, it's with a bright green light telling us we can move ahead, often times it's with a blazing yellow light reminding us to slow down and wait for His perfect timing, or perhaps He will ask us to come to a complete stop out of His pure love for us. Will we trust that what He has for us will fulfill us far more than anything we could ever seek out on our own?