Saturday, January 21, 2012

Pregnant on Paper...

I remember when I found out I was expecting Lucy--I was so anxious for that first doctor's appointment, for the first chance to hear her heartbeat, for the first glimpse at her on the sonogram, for the first movements, and most of all, for that first moment that I could see her face to face..there were so many things I just couldn't wait for!  This time, I am not carrying a baby inside of my belly, but we are still expecting and still eager to experience all of those "firsts."  And right now, we're definitely in that "first trimester" stage.  The stage where you know you're going to have a baby, but you don't necessarily "feel" pregnant.  (Well, until the nausea kicks in anyway, right?! lol:)  In other words, the point of the process we are in right now is summed up into one word: paperwork.

I know of several people who have adopted, and I have heard them talk about the paperwork and being amazed at how much there is.  So, I expected it to be a lot going into this process, but it's really one of those things that you just can't really fully understand until you've dealt with it.  HOLY COW!!  There are SO many forms, SO many questions, and it takes SO so much time!  I find myself wishing I could just stop everything else in life and just do it all right this moment.  But, it's definitely going to just have to be a work in progress, and I'm learning to become okay with that:)

The first really in-depth piece of paperwork I came across was the autobiography.  I have always enjoyed writing, but I was literally overwhelmed at the thought of "reliving" the past 29 years of my life in a paper (which I wrote my rough draft of in just two separate sittings--pretty exhausting, I have to be honest!)  But, as I began reading over my words, I couldn't help but smile at the end result.  It was so amazing to see the common threads of the journey God has given me in life, that no matter what triumphs or tragedies I was faced with, that God had a plan and a purpose for everything.  It reminded me of the hope I have because of Him and how He has always gone before me in every journey I've faced in life, so how could I doubt Him now?  I am so thankful to have Jesus in my life!  It may not be a #1 best-seller type of story, but that doesn't really matter.  My life is a story of a regular girl who has been saved, transformed, and guided by the Lord Jesus Christ, and the best part is that while He is still writing the rest of my story, I know the ending:)

Anyway...maybe at some point I'll share some of my autobiography--for now though, I will spare ya'll the 10 page paper of PB:)

(BTW: I heard of a blog called "Pregnant and Paper," so that's where I got the title for this post.  I think it definitely fits!)

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