Monday, May 27, 2013

Trusting and Waiting...

Lucy & Gabriel: 5/26/13
I'm having one of those days where I'm a bit of an emotional mess.  My heart is grieving for a dear friend who is waiting to bring their baby home (why does the adoption process have to be so difficult?)  My heart is anxious with thoughts of some upcoming events (and the two cups of coffee I had this morning probably aren't helping that anxiety any!)  My head is spinning at my to-do list.  My eyes are filled with tears at all of the what-ifs that are making themselves known.  But my heart is filled with joy as I look at all of the things that the Lord has done, helping me to be confident that He will surely continue to work in His amazing ways.

As I was having my "Java with Jesus" this morning, I noticed a theme in my prayer time.  With each request that I was presenting before the Lord, I felt Him responding to me with one simple word: trust.
  • Do I trust that God knows what is best in this situation?
  • Do I trust that God is able to use this and use me?
  • Do I trust that God is going to provide?
  • Do I trust that God is going to work this particular situation out?
  • Do I trust how God is going to answer this request?
  • Do I trust God's leading and ability in this area?
GP's first time swinging--He LOVED it!
My human mind immediately cries, "But God, what if..." and, "But Lord, what about..." and He continues to respond, "Trust me." I think the issue (for me) lies in this: We don't necessarily trust that God won't answer our request, but rather we worry HOW God will answer our request, because what if His answer isn't the one we are wanting?  Basically, it all boils down to this question: Do I trust that God really knows what is best for me?  Sadly, I often times do not, yet He still shows me again and again that He does.  I can't help but shake my head at myself as I look at an entry I posted about this time last year, and then bow my head before the Lord in thankfulness for His patience with me.

Yesterday, Gabriel turned 11 months old.  I know people say all of the time how quickly time flies, but seriously, these past 11 months have flown by at the craziest pace!  In less than 1 month from now, I will be the momma of a one year old son...this just does not seem possible to me!  I couldn't help but think of where we were this time last year, not knowing that it would be the last month of our long time of waiting to expand our family.  (Pleas note: I know our adoption process seemed very short to many people, and we are so thankful and blessed that that process alone was not near as lengthy as what many endure.  However, our desire to expand our family started many years before our son was born, so for us, it was a very long-awaited time in our lives.)  As I looked at the devotion in "My Utmost for His Highest" dated May 26th, Gabriel's "11 month birthday," I couldn't help but notice a section I had underlined in a previous year's reading:

"God answers prayer in the BEST way--not just sometimes, but EVERY time..."

In another daily devotion, "Streams in the Desert," May 24th and May 26th's entries stated the following:

"Take heart when God requires you to wait.  The One you wait for will not disappoint you!"
"Nothing pleases the Lord as much as PRAISE...have you learned to praise Him in advance for answers yet to come?"

sissy and baby brother--they love each other so much!
God knew years ago that Gabriel was the baby we had the desire to parent and that Lucy would have the desire to be a sister to.  He began working long ago to bring His plan for us into fulfillment, but we just couldn't see it then.  Oh, how blessed we are that we not only can see it now, but we are also experiencing it now.  What a reminder this precious little boy is of God's faithfulness, His might, and His love.  I am so thankful that through my impatience, the Lord was still patient with me!

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