All is Well...

I have so much that I am thankful for and looking forward to this holiday season. I am so humbled by this incredible family God has created in His own special way and in His own perfect timing. I love seeing the wonder and excitement in my children's eyes as we pass by Christmas lights in the car, the joy they express at giving to others, and the excitement they feel as they gaze at presents under the tree. And I'm so thankful for the amazing church we are getting to serve in right now who has loved us and affirmed us in such an incredible way. As we have been preparing for this amazing season where we celebrate the coming of our Saviour, there is so much joy in my heart. But if I'm being honest, I have to tell you that more than a lot of years, this holiday season has been one filled with a lot of tears...

While I never want anything to overshadow the true meaning of Christmas, I fully acknowledge that the Christmas season is also one where we take time to really spend with family and people near and dear to us. In a society that thrives on busy-ness and full schedules, the Christmas season is one where we usually try to take a step back and focus on the things that are really important to us. So, it's little wonder that if you've experienced a huge loss in your family (whether it's a job or even more, a loved one), it can often hit you harder this time of year than any other...and boy, has it done just that with me this season. Maybe it's the extra pregnancy hormones compounded by the health issues I've been experiencing lately, or maybe it's just one of those years that's going to be more difficult for me, but whatever the case, the Lord has certainly been filling up that bottle of tears that He collects for each of us.

A friend once told me that for children, grief is like a toy. They play with it for awhile, and then they put it away. In other words, it's perfectly normal for a child to not deal with grief right away, so we just have to be patient with them and available to them. I realized this past week, though, that grief can be that way for adults, too. I shared with a friend how sometimes we, too, can kind of place it up on a shelf. It's not that we forget about it necessarily, but maybe we just don't think about exactly where we've placed it. Whatever the case, just like something you place up on a shelf, it will often present itself in the most unexpected ways--blind-siding us as we are actually searching for something else, only to find it coming crashing down and hitting us hard on the top of our head. It's not a new type of grief--it's the same thing we placed up on the shelf before--but when it hits us unexpectedly, it hurts. Bad.

As I go into this Christmas season, I feel like there are a lot of losses I'm mourning: the loss of a ministry and many relationships, the loss of my Daddy and also my PaPa...there are a lot of people I expected to be spending this holiday season with that I will not get to. Does that mean I'm ungrateful or have lost sight m of all of the many people that I DO have in my life? I don't think so. But I do have to take my grief to the Father and ask Him how He can use it and mold it and make beauty from the ashes, so that's exactly what I've sought to do the past several weeks. I don't know why I ever get surprised when He reveals Himself to me, but I found it so sweet how He gently nudged my heart this Sunday at church with a glimpse at how He's listening to me and working...

Our pastor preached out of Colossians 1 this week. Verses 16-20 tell us this:

"For by him all things were created:things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 

17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 

18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 

19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 

20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross."

You see, as Pastor Charlie pointed out, "The purpose of God being broken was to piece back together our brokenness." As I deal with hurt and loss and confusion on how so many prayers seemed unanswered, I have to take a step back and ask myself, Do I trust my Jesus with great expectation that these requests I have made are already done? Do I trust that He's working even when it appears that nothing is working out? As I struggle through grief and hurt and disappointment, my God wants to remind me that His perfect work has already been accomplished, so I can trust Him to make beauty out of the sin in this world--that's the whole reason He came! He came to make right all that was and would be wrong. Do I really trust that He's not only able to do that, but that He's already done it? I think sometimes I am so overcome by the hurt, the loss, and the grief, that I lose sight of the healing and the Work of my Father. I don't believe this means I can't still pour my heart out to Him through my tears and my grief, but it means that I can TRUST Him with that grief, that as He stores each of my tears in a bottle, He is willing and able to pour them back out upon me as refreshment.

So why the title of "All is Well" for tonight's blogpost? Well, I wanted to share a Christmas arrangement on my studio Facebook page during this Christmas week, and that title is what popped up in the forefront of my mind. As I looked over the lyrics of this Christmas hymn, I smiled at how God was continuing to speak to my heart. Yes, through the darkness, through the wrongdoing, through the grief and the sorrow, Jesus came humbly as a baby, and because of that, we are truly able to say that ALL is well--all of the hurt, all of the pain, and all of the loss. It truly is well because of Jesus.

So if you, too, are struggling this Christmas season, join me in clinging to the Truth that Jesus came to this earth to make it well for YOU! He is not only the reason for THIS season, but He is the reason that we can have victory through ALL of the seasons we endure in this life on earth. My prayer is you will be overcome by the joy and the peace that only He can give.

Merry Christmas, my friends!

"All is Well"

Words: Wayne Kirkpatrick
Music: Michael W. Smith

All is well all is well
Angels and men rejoice
For tonight darkness fell
Into the dawn of love's light
Sing A-le
Sing Alleluia
All is well all is well
Let there be peace on earth
Christ is come go and tell
That He is in the manger
Sing A-le
Sing Alleluia

All is well all is well
Lift up your voice and sing
Born is now Emmanuel
Born is our Lord and Savior
Sing Alleluia
Sing Alleluia
All is well

Born is now Emmanuel
Born is our Lord and Savior
Sing Alleluia
Sing Alleluia
All is well