The TRUE Story of Adoption...

You won't recognizes most of the faces in the photos I'm sharing today. In fact, I don't recognize them either, and that's because they are from a post I saw on Facebook that struck me so deeply. The images you see are things actually said to adopted children and families all of the time--I've heard many of them myself. I know that people do not tend to be hurtful in their questions, but adoption is just so often misunderstood. Seeing the photos shared below spurred on these words from me. I hope you'll read and gain a little insight into where my heart is when I think of adoption, and especially of how I view my own son...

As Gabriel gets older, comments like this will become more and more confusing for him. I know a lot of them are out of ignorance from what adoption really is, which I can clear up for everyone in one single word: 

LOVE! 

Adoption isn't a burden, or a saintly
action, or a plan B because you couldn't have your "own" kids. Adoption is LOVE. It's not only the love I have for my son, or the love he shows me daily; it is also the incredible love his birthmom has for him. Love is a verb, and that means it is shown through many different actions.

I'm so thankful that my calling is to love Gabriel as his momma, that his calling is to love me as my son, and that his birthmom's calling was to love him by giving him life-a different life-and by giving our family a different life, too. 

Is there sadness involved in adoption? Yes. There sure is. But when you think of it at first thought, please think of love!

It's not a question of, "Why didn't his real mom want him?" It's a statement of "Wow! His birthmom must have really LOVED him to be able to do that!" And it's not a question of, "How can you love him like you love your OWN kids?" It's a statement of, "Isn't it beautiful how God can grow a family in a way no person ever could dream up?!" Because here's the deal: No, Gabriel didn't get his gorgeous complexion from me. Those dark brown eyes and long, beautiful eyelashes are nothing like mine. His precious face doesn't carry any of my family's or my husband's family's traits. But do you know what I see when I look him in the eye? I see the beauty in front of me and think, "Wow. DH and I could never have made that, and yet we get to call this precious boy OURS!"

You see, when you let God write your story, it's always going to look different from if you would have written it yourself. And while the journey of having absolutely no control of the outcome is often filled with grief and fear, it all becomes worth it in the end. Will there be more hurt and difficulties in future chapters? Yes? But I am able to hold to the truth that my Jesus knows how to make beauty from the ashes.

So I choose to trust Him.

I trust Him to give me the words when my son asks the tough questions. I choose to trust Him when well-meaning people say hurtful things. I choose to trust Him when I don't feel like I'm enough. And that's where I gain confidence and a sneak peak at the very end of this ongoing chapter called life--I know how the book ends!  

So, if you're thinking about adopting, or you have already adopted, or you know someone who has adopted, I'm going to let you in on the end of the story. It may not look like the conventional fairy tale, but when God writes your story, we are promised that we are "more than conquerors through Him", so we can rest assured that the last page is going to looks something like this: 

"And they all lived happily ever after..."

The End

(All images except the last came from Kim Kelley-Wagner images.)