Wednesday, August 1, 2012

A Real Family...

I'm always amazed at the things that come out of Lucy's mouth. She lives with such purpose-there's always a reason behind what she does and says, and that brain of hers must be in constant motion because she always seems to be processing everything, even when I don't think she's watching or listening. At just 4 years old, she really has surprised me with how well she has understood and adjusted to our family adopting, but I also have to remember that, again, she's just 4, so there are going to be certain things she just doesn't grasp, and that's where our conversation this week comes in...

It was the other morning, and I had just finished giving Gabriel his bottle. Lucy was showering him with kisses and happily proclaimed, "I'm so glad his birthmommy picked us and that we get to keep him!" and then her demeanor changed all of a sudden as if she was in deep thought as she said, "But I think baby brother is sad." I asked her, "why?" but I think I knew where the conversation was heading. She said, "I think he misses his real family."

Ahh:/ Knife to the heart!

I just looked at her very lovingly and patiently and said, "Oh honey, WE are his real family. Remember, his birthmommy picked us to be his family." She then said, "Well, I just mean his OTHER family then." Sweet thoughtful and sensitive. I love how she recognized our happiness but also the pain that his birth family must be experiencing. I love how she so carefully tries to process everything...but I also hated hearing that term of "real family," because I know it's just the first of many remarks like that. Yes, it's not the typical family makeup, but nothing could feel any more real than Gabriel being ours. I even received the sweetest text from his birthmother this week saying how natural we looked as a family in our pictures. It made me so happy to hear she felt that way. (I'm so thankful for her and the wonderful relationship we have with her!)

...I think back in the day, people tried to hide the fact they had adopted because they wanted to protect the child from those types of remarks. I love getting to tell people we are adopting Gabriel though because it's such an amazing story of God's control, His perfect path, and His direction. It's also a story filled with so much love for this amazing little baby boy. As I search through the scriptures, I see over and over again how our purpose in life is to bring God glory, and I feel like Gabriel's adoption story has Jesus written all over it! So yes, I want to embrace the fact that our family dynamic is a bit different, but I don't ever want it to be mistaken as second-best or not "real." but I think it's just a matter of educating people on the beauty of adoption and the truth behind what it really is. I know my eyes have certainly been opened through this whole process!

One more Lucy story for the day...I love how when people say, "Can I just take your baby brother home with me?" Lucy is very quick to tell them "NO!" Even today when DH was going back to work from lunch, Lucy quickly reminded him he couldn't take Gabriel with him. I know a lot of times children ask for their parents to take their siblings back to the hospital, but she wants him to stay put right where he's at! Me, too, Lucy. Me, too:)

My heart seriously melts when I watch the two of them. I see the bond they already have with one another, and I know that will only continue to strengthen and grow with time. What a blessing to be their mommy!


  1. Oh Paula-Beth!!! Lucy's heart is so pure and it sounds like she's wise beyond her years!!! I see what you mean but I LOVE what she said about her baby brother and his birth family...her heart truly empathizes and that trait is truly God-given and such a gift :-)

    1. She never ceases to amaze me! I do love her sensitive heart!

  2. I feel like Gabriel is my real little grandson!!! He is as special as Lucy is. I wish so much that I could hold his little body in my arms. Give both of our little grand children hugs and kisses for me. Love all of you bunches!!!!