Defining moments along the road...

Have you ever experienced one of those moments in your life that just SCREAMS out "turning point" or "defining moment"? When I think back to our adoption orientation back in January, it is exactly that. I can remember what I wore, where we parked our car, where I sat, many of the things that I was thinking...I think at the time I knew something was around the corner, but I had no way of really knowing what all this journey would entail...well, I still don't know everything that it will involve, but what a blessing to see the things that have already come about along this amazing pathway to expanding our family. All of that being said, this past Saturday was certainly a very special day for our family. As we walked into the orientation room and took a seat, everything felt so familiar from being there just seven months ago...and yet everything was also so new. Seven months ago, I entered that room carrying a heart that felt torn to pieces and trying to hang on to my hope. I was confident in God's path, but I was also weary from the journey. I was excited at the possibility of expanding our family through adoption, yet I really had no clue what that would look like. But now, just months later, I was able to enter into that room with a child in both arms and a heart that felt like it might burst into pieces but this time because it was so very full. I felt blessed beyond measure. And as I looked out at the hopeful adoptive couples, my heart was filled with such excitement for them because I knew they were each one step closer to feeling these same emotions and finding hope in what can be such a long and wearying journey. It was just such an amazing thing to be able to share with them our adoption journey so far, as well as to listen to the other two couples share theirs. One of the things that is so amazing about adoption is how we are all connected by this incredible journey, yet each individual path is so very unique-I don't think you'll ever hear two adoption stories that are the same.
I feel so incredibly blessed to be the mother of this amazing life. We are just so in love with this little boy! I think of all of the questions and tears to God, wondering why He would give me a desire to have a child and feel like He wasn't fulfilling it...but had He opened my womb, I wouldn't be holding Gabriel in my arms right now, and with every bit of my being I know this is the child God had birthed the desire within me to parent. Isn't it amazing how you can look back and see how God was shaping your heart, though at the time it may have felt like He was breaking it? It makes me think of the playdough Lucy likes to play with-she pounds it out, rolls it flat, and takes her time forming it into the masterpiece she has in her mind. It's not a "comfortable" process, but the end is beautiful! May I never lose sight of the beauty He promises to make from the ashes. May I never let go of the hope I have in Him. And may I never doubt that He is always working.

The words from an old CCM song keep running through my head this evening, so I want to close my post out with these beautiful lyrics:

"Along the Road"
Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
Along the road your path may wander
A pilgrim's faith may fail
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Darkness obscures the trail
Cursing the quest
Courting disaster
Measureless nights forbode
Moments of rest
Glimpses of laughter
Are treasured along the road
Along the road your steps may stumble
Your thoughts may start to stray
But through it all a heart held humble
Levels and lights your way
Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
Somewhere along the road
Somewhere along the road