Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Way or Yahweh...

I have a growing list of topics I've been wanting to blog about, but mommyhood has been calling my name much louder than my blog space, and I'm pretty sure you guys know which one wins out:)  (Hint: It's not the blog!:-)  But, I've had a little bit too much caffeine this evening, and Gabriel isn't quite ready for his next feeding, so I figured it was a good time to try and get an entry in...

Just a few updates (which I hope to elaborate on in future posts.)

*All is going great with our adoption process, and we are so thankful for that!  We have had three visits with our caseworker, two of which have been at our home, and we are hoping to consummate Gabriel's adoption in early December.  I seriously can't believe how big he is getting!  He was 13lb 5oz at his 2 month check up and 23 and one quarter inches long!  He is smiling and cooing a lot now, and he holds up his head like a champ.  His still has all of his gorgeous dark hair and those adorable chubby cheeks.  He is just the sweetest most precious little cuddlebug, and we are so in love with him!  I seriously cannot put into words the feelings we have towards him...

*Lucy started pre-k a few weeks ago.  This was not at all a part of our original plan for this school year, but I was reminded God's plans aren't always my plans.  She is LOVING it and really seems to be thriving.  She is truly my social butterfly, so I know she is eating up getting to spend all day with her friends.  I sure am missing her though, let me tell you!  I pray daily that she will live up to her name of being a bringer of light.  What a special little girl she is!

Today marked a very important day for us in that DH and I celebrated our twelve year "Meetiversary."  On September 11, 2000, we first met on the third floor of the music building at Ouachita Baptist University.  I was surprised with a beautiful rose from my sweet hubby today in honor of the occasion, and we went to eat with friends tonight at Chickfila to help celebrate--one because it is kids eat free night, but two because Chickfila was where our first unofficial date took place (which didn't happen until some time in October, but I'm always reminded of that when I think of this time of year.)  As we were leaving the house tonight to head into town, DH said, "Can you believe it's been twelve years??!"  I said, "In some ways I can't believe it's already been twelve years, but in other ways I can't believe it's ONLY been twelve years, because I just can't imagine my life without you in it."  DH truly is my soul mate, my best friend, and the love of my life.  I am continually thanking God for placing him in my life as my spiritual leader and partner in ministry and life in general.  DH then posed another question as we were making our way back home this evening: "What if I wouldn't have gone to practice that evening?  Do you think we would still have met?"  I quickly responded, "I don't even want to think about that!" but in all honesty, I couldn't help but think about his statement.  I found myself so very thankful that I didn't have to worry about that "what-if" in life, and I was reminded of such a great truth--that we don't ever need to worry about those what-ifs, because God truly is always in control.  Proverbs 16:9 says this: "The heart of a man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps."  What a great reminder that God is always directing our steps and always working, even when we don't realize it.  My prayer is that I will allow myself to be fully aligned with His will and completely willing to follow His guidance, no matter what, for what a beautiful view it is when we get to that other side of things!  Would I want to travel back through the past twelve years of my life?  To be honest, not really.  There have been a lot of trials and heartaches and difficulties.  However, when I look back on all of those troubles, I see how God has woven them all together to create such a beautiful pathway.  He has given me so many examples of how He truly makes beauty from the ashes of our lives, and I am so very grateful.   So what do all of these things have in common?

  • If I would have had life MY way, I would have been pregnant about two years ago, and we probably would not have felt led towards adoption, and Gabriel would not be our son...and with all my heart, I know that he is exactly the baby our hearts have yearned for all of this time.  The past two years were so devastating for us as we desired to have a child so badly but month after month felt confused and heartbroken.  BUT, God knew what He was doing when I did not, and His timing was perfect!
  • If I would have had life MY way, my Lucy-bug would be staying at home with me each day.  It wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing for her, but I see how GOOD her being in school has been for her.  It does present other challenges for us, but overall I know without a doubt it was the right decision for her for right now.  Many people have asked why we "changed our minds" about school, because we had stated several times she would be staying home for at least this year.  But honestly, we just have prayed about it this entire year, and it wasn't until just days before school began that God revealed His plan for Lucy was for her to go to school this year.  And you know what is so neat about His timing?  With all honesty, just having a few days to mentally prepare for L going to school was SO much easier for me to adjust to than gearing my mind that way (i.e. worrying and stressing about it) for the whole year.   Again, God knew what He was doing when I did not, and His timing was perfect.
  • And lastly, if I would have had life MY way...well, I still would have chosen DH to be my husband!  :-)  I guess sometimes things DO go as we hope for them to, and I'm thankful for that as well!  However, it's still so easy for us to make a mess of things when life is placed in our human hands.  I'm so thankful that God truly did direct my steps though, and He allowed me to end up exactly where He wanted to be, which was married to this amazing man that I get to call my husband.   
    First Date at Chickfila almost twelve years ago
Almost Twelve years later: FAMILY of FOUR date at Chickfila:)

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