for the JOY...

Do you see this sweet, super hero of a girl right here? She learned to ride her bike without training wheels this week! You may be thinking, "It's about time," but regardless of the world's typical timeline, we are celebrating this victory in our household, because it's so much more than just learning to ride her bike...

When I was pregnant with my Lucy, I was filled with a lot of fear. Actually, fear is something I struggled with a lot before having Lucy, but I discovered that motherhood will bring even more of it out of the depths. The Lord spoke very clearly to my heart during my pregnancy though, and He gave me a phrase that I have clung to ever since: 

Live in FAITH and not fear.

My fears throughout the years have been so many. Some of them may have seemed silly to most, other were common fears, and some were unique to me and probably considered valid. But God doesn't assign our fears to categories, and He simply asks that we choose to trust Him no matter what.

"Trust in Him at ALL times, O people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us." (Psalm 62:8)

In my life, I've worried about infertility and also the safety of my children. I've worried about rejection and finances. I'm currently struggling with the fear that my hand will not completely heal.
My worries are many and are born out of a lot of fear. But you know what? God has never ceased to provide for me in my time of need. All of those fears of mine? Most of them have actually become a reality that I have had to face, and through that I realized that it's not as much the actual fear that causes me anxiety, but it's the way that fear will make me feel. BUT GOD has been there every time to make a way out  for me, and that's because God always goes before us, so when He tells us not to fear or be dismayed, He's telling us that we don't need to feel disappointed or stressed, because He's got this!

"Do no be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He WILL be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." (Deuteronomy 31:8)

I suppose it's fitting that since the Lord spoke His truth over me while I was pregnant with Lucy, that Lucy, too, would need to learn this as well. She's a very cautious child and greatly impacted by her surroundings and happenings.

 When I asked her why she was so scared of learning to ride her bike, she kept saying she was afraid of falling, and I told her this: "Honey, the chances of you falling are pretty great, because you're learning. You probably ARE going to fall, but then you will just have to choose whether or not you're going to get back up and keep going."

The same thought process applies to my own fears. How did I respond when faced with infertility struggles? How do I respond when faced with my children's safety, rejection from others, financial stresses, etc.? Will I stay down for the count, or will I dust myself off, get back up, and keep going, while trusting FULLY in the One who has gone before me? 

Lucy could have let her fears hold her back, like we so often do in life. She could have just continued to ride with her training wheels on, but that was making bike riding more difficult for her. They kept coming loose and were slowing her down. Yet even when they were on the brink of falling off, she felt more secure--but it was a false security she discovered when, last week, they finally did fall off. But now, less than a week later, she's flying up and down the street, and she's having more fun than she ever did before because she can go faster and
further...because she chose to not let fear win. 

Hebrews 12:1-3 says this:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

We can't just bury our heads in the sand and pretend like difficulties aren't going to arise. The question when we learn to ride a bike isn't "what if I fall?" The real question I must ask myself is, "What am I going to do WHEN I fall?" Jesus knew He would face difficulty. He knew He would face rejection and betrayal and a cruel death on a cross. But in this scripture we see that He chose to endure them "for the joy that was set before Him..." How will I choose to praise my Jesus through the storms that I face? Will I choose to throw off the "training wheels" of fear that holds me back and then trust Him joyfully? It is my prayer that I will, and that my little Lucy can follow in my footsteps (or my bike riding;-) and also learn how to "live in faith and not fear," for the JOY...