A Case of the "W4's"...

If you've known me for very long, you've probably seen my use of "w4_ _ _ _" quite a bit over the years.  When I was pregnant with Lucy, my blog was entitled "W4lucy," and it's still a screen name I use for various things.  And then when I went in search of a blogger profile, the W4 popped in my head again.  I'm not sure I've ever actually explained it on here though.  So, in case you've ever wondered...

The "w" stands for "waiting" and the 4 stands for "for."  Waiting for...

Did you just cringe a little bit?  I don't know about you, but I do NOT enjoy waiting very much.  I've actually posted on this topic before (and how crazy is it that it was almost exactly a year ago??!), but of course it's a struggle that rears its ugly head pretty frequently.  We live in a culture that wants immediate gratification: FAST food, EXPRESS checkouts, QUICKtrip, etc.  We live in a fast-paced, busy culture, and we just don't want to wait for anything...including God's perfect timing.  If you were to look through my prayer journal, you would see over 2 years worth of entries, most of them scratched through with praise reports written out next to them.  But you would also find some requests that have been in that book since I began using it, and there is nothing scratched out and nothing to report next to it except for the tears staining the blank pages.  They are requests that I have cried out to the Lord over and over again that have yet to be answered, and if I'm being honest, yes, I do have days where I wonder if God is really listening and if He is ever going to respond.

For anyone who has ever struggled with infertility, I know you understand the pains of "W4" all too well.  You have prayed and prayed for God to give you a child, but it just hasn't happened.  You have dreamed of what your reaction would be to seeing a positive pregnancy test, ached to see a sonogram of your own baby, longed to feel a child growing inside of you, and yearned for a baby to hold in your arms.  And yet here you are, still "W4."  You've heard entirely too many times from well-meaning (and sometimes not-so-well-meaning) friends and family, "I understand...Don't worry...it will happen when it's supposed to...God is in control!" but it still doesn't change the reality of what you are experiencing right NOW.  And while people usually mean well, no amount of Pollyanna promises will take the hurt away that you feel in your heart.  It sounds like a pretty hopeless lifestyle, but don't worry--I'm not going to sit there.  The reality is: waiting is HARD, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that and working through the hurt of it all.  It's OK to cry and to not understand, just as long as we know Who to cry to and Who to bring our questions and frustrations to: our Heavenly Daddy.  But sometimes, when you've been waiting for SO very long with no response, it's easy to lose hope and feel forgotten.  I don't know about you, but I so needed a reminder today that my Heavenly Daddy has NOT forgotten me, and that He IS listening and working through my pain for a much greater purpose...

I read an amazing devotion this week from Journey (A women's devotional from Lifeway that my church purchases each month.)  It hit my heart in such a deep way, so I just have to share this beautiful reminder with ya'll:

Why doesn't God always answer our prayers immediately?  We know that "He could give us an answer immediately, but He usually does not.  He has far greater purposes in our prayers than just the asking and receiving.  He wants us to learn more about who He is...How many prayers have you dropped because God seemed not to be hearing?  If He did not give a definite 'no,' He may have wanted the delay to draw you closer to Him and establish a better sense of His provision in your need.  Don't just ask, seek, and knock; keep asking, seeking, and knocking.  Such times of persistence lead to a greater, more memorable experience of His goodness."

I'm currently reading in the book of Exodus where Moses is trying to lead the Israelites to the Promise Land.  I've read this story so many times, but each time that I do I am always amazed at how STUPID the Israelites seem!  I mean, they continually doubt God over and over again even though He continually shows His faithfulness and provision to them, also over and over again.  How can they be so blind?  And then every time I feel that way, I examine my own heart and realize I am just as guilty of this as the Israelites.  I doubt that God will provide, despite How many times He has proven His faithfulness.  I grow weary from the "W4's," and sometimes, I just give up.  I forget that God uses these seasons of the "W4" for His greater purpose, and I lose out on an opportunity to experience Him in a whole new way.

I'm not sure what season of "W4" God has you in right now, but let me encourage you to not grow weary.  God IS faithful, He IS listening, and He IS working in His most perfect timing!  Don't give up, don't give in, and don't let go; just keep looking up!  Keep on "W4"ing with the great expectancy of God's promises to all of His children!  One day, you WILL be able to look back and see His amazing works, and it will be so much sweeter after having traveled through such a season of wait and having arrived victoriously to the light at the end of that dark tunnel. 

GREAT is His faithfulness, and I rest in that today.  I hope that you will, too...