The Punky Brewster Mentality...

 

Growing up, my idea of adoption was based on what I like to refer to as the "Punky Brewster mentality."  In other words, all I knew about adoption came from what I saw on T.V.  (Punky was actually in the foster care system, but as a child I don't think I really knew the difference.)

Funny sidenote: I actually went through a period of time as a child where I was convinced my parents had adopted me because there were so many pictures of my older brother from his birth, but I never saw any of me!  Gotta love being the second child, right? :-)

Anyway, I say all of this to bring up that my perception of adoption was totally based upon fictitious characters.  Adoptive parents were those cold acting older couples that lived in a big house, and the "real" mother was unloving and uncaring or her baby had been forced unwillingly from her arms.  And the thought of "open" adoption never even occurred to me.  Adoption was a secret that no one talked about.  I remember my first experience with a family who chose open adoption.  If I didn't actually ask the adoptive mom, I know the thought ran through my head, "Aren't you afraid that their birth mom is going to come and take them back?"  But honestly, I just had not been properly educated on the truth.  (A devastating blow to my thought process--apparently Punky couldn't teach me how to properly color coordinate OR how to know the truth behind foster/adoption!:-)  I think all of my fears I had before about adoption stemmed from my struggle of living in fear.  I think I've mentioned before that I struggle a lot with this.  I remember when I was pregnant with Lucy, the one thing the Lord said to me repeatedly was that He was teaching me to "live in faith and not fear."    Just when I think I'm getting better at this concept though, that fear comes in and rears its ugly head in my life.  And this was the case when we first started talking about adoption.  I couldn't even imagine at first wanting to do a domestic adoption because of the fear that the birthmother would come and take her baby back.  But the Lord began working in my heart, and I realized that domestic adoption was exactly what He was calling us to do, and even more so, He was calling us to seek an open adoption.  Now, instead of being filled with fear from open adoption, I'm filled with so much excitement.  I seriously cannot wait to meet this amazing woman who is going to give birth to our baby!  I look forward to learning all about her and hopefully maintaining good contact with her.  We aren't just going to be welcoming a new baby into our family--their birthmommy is certainly going to be a huge part of our family's life from the moment she steps into it! She truly is a blessing to me, and we haven't even met yet.  She is going to give us such a sacrificial gift-she has chosen LIFE for her baby, but ultimately she is going to choose us to continue to guide that child through the life she has chosen to give him/her.  Just as the birthmother is making such a selfless decision for her baby, I realize that I, too, must place my children's needs above my own.  While there are certainly many unknowns for me as a parent choosing open adoption, there will be not be as many unknowns for our child by us choosing an open adoption.  Don't get me wrong--I don't think open-adoption is the only way to go, or the "right" way to do things.  And I'm certainly not saying anyone who has chosen a closed adoption is not a selfless person!  I just feel like this is the path God has chose for our family.  I think one of the most beautiful things about adoption is that everyone's story is different--just like Punky's wild sense of style by way of color combinations, adoption stories make up a rainbow of tales that paint such a beautiful picture of life and of love.  So maybe the "Punky-mentality" isn't so far off after all;-)

Adventures in Barbie-land...and other precious mommy moments...

Mommy and Lucy: 5/24/12

I remember when I was a little girl how much I loved playing with my Barbies and my troll dolls.  The Barbies had a Barbie house and a car I played with and tons of old Barbie clothes that had been my mother's.  (I remember this one beautiful orange ball gown in particular that Skipper always wore to the prom:)  I also had a huge collection of troll dolls (no, I didn't sacrifice anything or get into witchcraft-they were just dolls with fun hair to me:) and I would get a big heavy blanket out and pile it up in the floor creating all sorts of "mountains" and "cottages" with the lumps in the blanket for my "troll village."  I didn't mind playing pretend by myself, but I loved it when someone else would play with me (except when my brother tried to bring his robots into my imaginary world--Barbie only had room for one man in her life, and his name was Ken, not robot!) and I remember one day in particular.  I had my "troll village" all set up and my mother came through the room and sat down and played with me for a bit.  I remember she combed the troll's hair and fixed it in a way I had never seen, and I thought my mother was just the coolest mom ever--not just because of her mad styling skills, but mostly because I just loved that she had sat down to play with me...

I've been reading a book a friend lent to me and it talks about the importance of entering into a child's imaginary world with them.  Children love fairy tales and pretend, so one of the easiest ways to really learn where they're coming from and what they're thinking is to enter into that world of theirs.  I was really convicted when I realized I hadn't been doing much of that with Lucy.  Yes, we spend the majority of our days together-she's like my little shadow, helping me clean and do laundry and get meals ready-and we do fun things together, like blowing bubbles and drawing with chalk on the driveway.  But lately, I guess I haven't really allowed myself to just stop every single thing I was doing (like not be distracted by changing the water in the flower bed while she plays next to me on the driveway) and enter wholly into her world of play.  No phone, no facebook, no clothes for me to fold while she plays on the floor next to me, no scarves to knit or bows to make for someone else...but just to stop everything and play with her.  I'm embarrassed really to even admit that, but I think most moms will understand the pull we feel.  There's always so much to be done and things that seem to demand our attention that we can easily neglect the one thing that doesn't always seem to demand our attention, but truly needs it more than anything else.  The dishes will still be in the sink, the clothes will still be in the dryer, and that project will wait another day...but that little four year old girl that God has entrusted to me will appear to be able to wait on me, too, but unlike those other "things" in my life that will go unchanged if I neglect them, my precious Lucy will not.  She is constantly growing, learning, and changing, and if I put her off too long, I'll miss all of those precious moments.  Just like I remember my momma sitting down in the floor and playing dolls with me, I wonder what Lucy will remember about me from her childhood.  Will she remember the mom who was always busy with housework, or will she remember the mom who met her in HER world and just simply enjoyed and engulfed herself in her daughter's presence? 

So, this week i decided to do some special things, just for Lucy.  I got on pinterest and found a tutorial for some dresses, headed for the clearance fabric at walmart, and made us two sets of matching mother/daughter dresses.  Daddy gladly did a little photo shoot for us of the first set of dresses last night (what all of the pictures in my post are from), and I was able to finish up the second set this afternoon.  I can't wait for us to get to wear them somewhere together!  I'm thinking a special date for mommy and Lucy may be in order this week:)  The other thing I felt like she would particularly enjoy is playing Barbies with her.   I often will sit in the room with her as she plays and talk to her as she's playing, but I don't always just set everything aside and join in, so I wanted to make a special effort tonight to do that.  Maybe tonight won't be etched forever into Lucy's memory, but I certainly will never forget the priceless look of excitement on her face when I asked her, "Do you want to go get a few of your barbies and Mommy and you can play together?  Or we can play with your barbie house.  Would you like that?"  Her big blue eyes just lit up and began to dance as she smiled and said in her sweet voice, "YES!  I would LOVE that!"  So off we went to Barbie-land with Princess Cinderella, Rapunzel, Tiana, Jasmine, Belle, Flynn Ryder, Tinkerbell, and "valley girl" Barbie.  She showed me around Rapunzel's tower, and I showed her around Barbie's house.  We looked at Cinderella's artwork on the mantle, warmed up by the fire, put a crazy purple hair extension into valley girl Barbie's blonde mane, and made smoothies:)  Sweet, precious memories with my sweet, precious girl:)

Baby Toller: Growing in our hearts:)

As much as I desire for Baby T to be here now, and as big of a blessing as I know he/she/they will be to our family, I also know that I will never be able to go back to the point in time of being just Lucy's mommy.  Don't get me wrong--yes, we definitely want to expand our family!  What I mean though is that this time is so very precious, and I don't want to waste it by wishing it away to where we are on to the next step in our family's journey, or by missing it because I've busied myself so much with all of the things I think "have" to be done.  I often feel SO much pressure being a stay at home mom, as if people are constantly judging how I'm using the time I have at home.  If the house isn't clean, the laundry caught up, and a home cooked meal on the table, I feel like I've failed and am not meeting up to my "job requirements."  DH works so hard all day, and if he comes home to a messy house and no dinner I feel as if it looks like I've completely squandered away my day.  These aren't expectations that anyone has placed upon me though.  I think I just put a lot of pressure on myself to be who I think everyone else thinks I'm supposed to be, when in reality, I highly doubt anyone else is giving it any thought at all.  I realize that all this time I spend worrying about others thinking I'm wasting my time has ended up causing me to do just that-waste the precious time I've been given!  I want to fully engage myself in the present, for it holds SO many very special moments in it.  Just think of all of the special memories we miss out on, simply because we're too busy to just stop and soak up the moment.  And I'm so thankful for the precious moments this weekend has held for me with my little Lucy!  I'm so blessed that God chose me to be her momma.  I can't wait to meet the other child(ren) God has chosen to be a part of our family, but in the mean time I will savor the one He has already given to us. 

Lucy, You are a blessing!  

Worth the Wait...

I was reading today's entry, May 23rd, of Streams in the Desert this morning (a daily devotion.)  I always have a hard time not looking ahead when I do a devotion that is marked by specific days (hmmm...maybe this is just another example of my impatience??) so I tend to at least glance over the subject title for the next day.  As I gave May 24th's entry a quick look, I couldn't help but read the whole thing as its message was so timely for me.  I'm probably not supposed to copy the entire entry on my blog, but I really want to share it with ya'll, so just don't turn me in to the publishers, OK?:-)

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Streams in the Desert: May 24

"Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him." (Genesis 21:2)

"The plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." (Ps. 33:11) But we must be prepared to wait on God's timing. His timing is precise, for He does things "at the very time" he has set.  It is not for us to know His timing, and in fact we cannot know it--we must wait for it.

If God had told Abraham while he was in Haran that he would have to wait thirty years before holding his promised child in his arms, his heart might have failed him.  So God, as an act of His gracious love, hid from Abraham the number of weary years he would be required to wait.  Only as the time was approaching, with but a few months left to wait, did God reveal His promise: "At the appointed time next year...Sarah will have a son" (Gen 18:14). The "appointed time" came at last, and soon the joyous laughter that filled the patriarch's home caused the now elderly couple to forget their long and tiring wait.  

So take hear, dear child, when God rquires you to wait.  The One you wait for will not disappoint you. He will never be even five minutes behind "the appointed time." And soon "your grief will turn to joy." (John 16:20)

Oh, how joyful the soul that God brings to laughter!  Then sorrow and crying flee forever, as darkness flees the dawn. selected

As passengers, it is not for us to interfere with the charts and the compass. We should leave the masterful Captain alone to do His own work.  Robert Hall

Some things cannot be accomplished in a day.  Even God does not make a glorious sunset in a moment.  For several days He fathers the mist with which to build His beautiful palaces in the western sky.

... 

"For him who with a patient heart can wait. 

These things will be on God's appointed day:

It may not be tomorrow--yet it may."
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I so wish our baby could be in our arms right this moment...but that's just not God's perfect timing, and I know when we do hold that precious one close to our hearts we will know he/she is the exact baby God knew from the beginning would be a part of our family.  What a joyful time it is going to be to be able to look back at the heartache, the long waiting, the disappointments, the stresses...everything! and be able to look down at our child and experience the joy of God's perfect plan, realizing everything in hindsight was well worth the wait.

I remember how much sorrow I felt as we were TTC Lucy.  I just couldn't understand why God would place a desire in our hearts for a child if He wasn't fulfilling it.  But He DID fulfill that desire, and the overwhelming joy that Lucy has brought to our lives was well worth any sorrow we felt as we waited for her.  His timing truly was perfect then, and I know it will continue to be just that.  Lucy Shea and Baby T, you truly are worth the wait, and we wait patiently, joyfully, and confidently for God's perfect timing!

Grace...

A few months ago, a precious friend presented me with a present.  It wasn't my birthday or any special holiday, so I was a bit confused as to the occasion.  I pulled back the tissue paper to uncover this: a bottle of the most amazingly calming smelling shower cream-I seriously wish I could open up the bottle right now as you are reading this so you could breathe it all in.  It.is.amazing!  She told me that when she was pregnant, someone had given her a bottle of it, and it had such a relaxing and calming effect that she gives it to all of her friends now who are pregnant.  Even though I may not have a baby growing in my belly, she recognized how we do have a baby growing in our hearts right now, and this is truly a time just as if we were pregnant with our child, since we are eagerly anticipating their arrival and preparing for him/her/them.  I was so touched that she would think of me in this way.  I can't even express how validating it was to have someone recognize our situation in that way, too.  I'm not saying no one else has done that.  I just mean that it was such a touching moment for me to be recognized to her as one of her pregnant friends.  (Fellow friends who are TTC or have experienced TTC-I think you understand all too well the desire of experiencing pregnancy and waiting for that moment when you can announce to anyone within hearing distance that you are expecting!) So every time that I start feeling anxious about the adoption process, or sad, or discouraged, etc., I hop in to the shower and am reminded to take a deep breath, relax, and trust that God has gone before us and has everything figured out.  (Thankfully, it's a big bottle, because lately I've needed that reminder more and more!:-)  

And then this past week, I was blessed once again by another very dear friend to me.  She came up to me at church on mother's day and presented me with a gift.  I opened it up to find this sweet necklace resembling a bird's nest with three pearls inside of it.  Maybe you've seen them before-each pearl represents each one of your children.  She told me that one of the pearls was for Lucy, but she asked the lady to add two more pearls to my necklace, knowing that we really have been praying for twins, and even if we don't have twins, the two pearls represent the child we are going to adopt, and any other future children the Lord may bless our family with.  I was brought to tears!  Once again, it felt so validating to have someone recognize the reality of our expanding family.  Again--please don't take this as me saying people have not been affirming of this because you all have been so encouraging and supportive!  It's just always amazing to me how God brings encouragement and affirmation your way at the time you need it most, and that was one of those days for me.  Each day when I put on my necklace, I'm filled with such hope and excitement for how God IS going to answer our prayer for more children.  

I'm reminded of a verse He gave to me early on in our adoption process: Genesis 28:15 "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land.  I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."  I have no doubt in my mind God is going to fulfill the desires of my heart...but I will admit that i have days, as I've expressed recently, where it's difficult to keep that in the forefront of my mind.  And that's where God steps in with HIS graciousness to remind us of Who He is and what he has promised.  As I was getting ready to write this post, I decided to look up the definition for the word "Grace," the name of the shower cream my friend gifted me.  This is what I found:
GRACE:

Pronunciation: grās

n.1. The exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another. 

I feel like my friends names should be inserted into that definition, because they truly exercised love, kindness and a disposition of servanthood to me.  I'm reminded how much God desires to use us to encourage one another and to love one another and to meet each other wherever we are at.  I'm so thankful to have friends in my life who have done just that, and I pray I can be an extension of God's grace to others, just as they have been to me.

Because of HIS grace,
P-B:)

Lucy's a Big Sister...

 Lucy is a big sister!!!

 ...to two furbabies!  (Yes, I'm mean; sorry for the teaser:-)

We decided earlier this year that it might be a good idea to get an outdoor cat.  We live in rattlesnake country, and for those of you who don't know this little tidbit about me, I am totally PHOBIC of snakes.  I'm not talking just a little scared here-I'm talking completely scared out of my mind to the point where I have horrible nightmares about them.  I can't look at pictures of them, see them in movies, and I certainly don't walk anywhere near the reptile building at the zoo.  I don't care if they're fake, behind glass, or even if they are dead.  I can't handle them in any form.  It's not the idea of getting bitten by a snake--I don't even care if they're poisonous or not--it's the thought of just SEEING a snake that scares me out of my mind.  It really is amazing that I have done triathlons and swam in the lake and that I even get on my bike and ride out into the middle of nowhere on the West Texas highways, but you better believe I pray VERY hard each time that I do!  (I'm not even joking...and please do not take this as an invitation to try and be "funny" and find a silly way to scare me.  It won't be funny, I promise!)  Anyway, all of that being said, we are now the proud owners of Gary and Walter, who I affectionately have named my "Rattlesnake Roundup":)

....Notice that we went from getting a cat to getting cats.  We decided they might stick around better if they had some company.  They're actually from two different momma cats (the brothers from two different mothers:-) but both nursed from the same momma cat.  Gary is the fluffy white and black kitty and Walter is the grey tabby and the runt from the other litter.  Before you tell me that they're strange names for a cat, let me remind you of our current favorite family movie: The Muppets.  So, they're named after the brothers in that movie:)

  

Sidenote: If you haven't seen that movie, you need to! It's 

HILARIOUS, even if you aren't a Muppets fan!:-) 

At any rate, these two little furbabies have totally stolen my heart.  What originally was supposed to be a surprise for Lucy (who had been asking for a cat for quite awhile) has turned into an unexpected blessing for me.  While we wait on our baby, it's been such a blessed distraction to have these little furbabies to love on.  They ARE outdoor cats (I know they don't look like it from all of the pics on FB, but trust me, they really are!) but we bring them in when they're sleepy to let them snuggle in our arms.  Their arrival could not have come at a better or more needed time.  They've really lifted my spirits...plus set my heart at ease knowing they're "protecting" our yard from unwanted critters:-)

Anyway, I thought you would enjoy seeing these two cuties!  And I promise no more teasers!:-)

Dreams...

A recent goal I made for myself is to read through the entire Bible.  I've been reading my Bible since I was a kid, but I've never actually made a commitment to read every single chapter of every single book.  I'm reading one book at a time, but going back and forth between the OT and the NT.  Today's chapters were from the story of Joseph (you know, the guy with the "amazing technicolor dreamcoat" AKA Donny Osmond? lol:) and his dreams.  It's "funny" the timing of things, because I had an interesting dream last night myself...

I should preface this with something: I think God often uses our dreams as a way to speak to us.  Sometimes it's to reveal something to us, even if just to surface a deep emotion or fear.  But sometimes His message can get caught between a few comedic sketches to break things up:)  All of that to say, last night's dream definitely surfaced some of my emotions cushioned by some peculiarity and hilarity!:)

I found myself walking into a hospital room where a woman had just had a baby.  The nurse handed her to me and I realized we had been chosen to adopt this baby.  She was BEAUTIFUL with big round blue eyes, a hint of blonde hair, and the most flawless complexion.  As I went to hold her I stopped myself and instantly had this sinking feeling that the birthmother was going to change her mind.  I tried to put the thought out of my head as me just guarding my emotions, but I couldn't seem to let it go, and at the end of the dream, she did end up choosing to parent the baby.  I thought this was a fear I had pretty much dealt with, but when I woke up this morning I realized how much it's been in the back of my mind.  I continue to tell the Lord we are willing to travel whatever road He has for us, even if that means one like in my dream, but I've also been praying for that not to be His will for us, and to not place a birthmother in our lives that is going to change her mind.  I really feel the Lord is teaching me a lot about honesty with emotions right now-He wants us to be honest in EVERYthing, so He's reminding me that it really is OK to admit when we're frustrated or upset or sad or whatever emotion we are facing, but just to remember He is still God and He is still in control, even when life feels so uncertain and out of control.  I'm also reminded that emotions have two sides--if I never experienced sorrow then how would I fully know the true sweetness in joy?  Anyway, that dream brought about all of those emotions and thoughts for me...

Anyway, enough attempts at deep thoughts for the day...on to the peculiar and funny stuff:)  So after the baby was born, the birthmother suddenly had this gorgeous curly hair sitting underneath this  velvety brgandy antique hat she wore around everywhere with her hospital gown, and she was feeding hershey bars to the baby.  She asked me what I wanted to name the baby and my mother said, "Oh, I know the perfect name!  She looks just like a 'pink'!  You've got to name her Pink!" No wonder the birthmother changed her mind on placing her baby with us after that!  LOL!

Anyway, sorry for the random and strange post.  Just being honest about the happenings of this week in our journey:)

...And as a side note, I most certainly will NOT be naming our child Pink!:-)

Rollercoaster of Emotions...

I'm kind of hesitant to write this, because I'm not sure if my heart can handle the responses it could get, but this blog is my outlet, so here goes... These past few weeks, I have got to be honest...have been HARD.  I find myself feeling so sad and maybe even discouraged about the whole adoption process.  Nothing has changed-we still absolutely love our agency (in fact, I was just telling DH last night how I continually feel so affirmed in our decision to use Christian Homes.  I can't imagine adopting through anyone else.  I seriously can't say enough good things about this agency!) But the waiting is just getting to me.  I know, I know, it's not like we've been waiting THAT long.  In fact, the process has gone very smoothly and relatively quickly for us since we began the adoption process...but please keep in mind that we have been longing to expand our family for much longer than when we started the adoption process.  Those of you that have TTC know the feeling all to well-that heart-wrenching-sinking feeling you get every month when you realize you aren't pregnant.  Well, now that feeling seems to come at the end of every DAY when I realize we haven't gotten a call.  My heart.just.sinks. It's like I'm on an emotional roller coaster-I jumped on willingly and excitedly for the ride, but I have no control over when it's going to end, and the ups and downs are really starting to get to me...but at the same time, like any fellow roller coaster fan, I don't want to get off.  All of those ups and downs are what makes the ride what it is, so you don't want to miss a moment, no matter how sick to your stomach some of the twists and turns may make you, because you don't want to miss out on the full experience.  I really do not want to miss out on the full experience of what God has for us in this whole process, but I just want to take a moment to be completely honest and say, yes, Lord, I'm willing, but IT.IS.HARD.   We checked in with our case worker recently and learned that we had been looked at by a Birthmother, but she ended up choosing a different couple that she had more in common with.  I know that just wasn't the Birthmother and baby God has chosen for our family, and I can say with all sincerity as I look at the web page and see the couples who recently have had babies placed with them, my heart is so joyful for them to have just the baby that is meant to be with their family.  I know our day will come, too! (and it will be met with lots of jumping up and down, I'm sure, if my record serves me correctly:-) but I have to admit that when I read those words that we weren't picked, my emotions just broke open and spilled out.  Doubt began to creep into my mind, "What if we don't have anything in common with any of the birthmoms?  What if we never get picked?  What's wrong with our profile that a Birthmother wouldn't want to pick us?"...and then reality came to my rescue and I realized I was letting the Enemy fill my head with lies.  God DOES have a baby for us-I'm confident! But I just don't know when, and that is where God is going to strengthen my  faith and guide us through.  It really is so much sweeter to let him unfold this story for us.  For one, I do NOT have control over this situation anyway, but I do know the One who does have control, and I choose to trust Him.  That doesn't mean that it's a journey free of emotion tho, and I believe God wants us to be honest about that. I'd recently been really beating myself up over feeling kind of down about it all, as if I wasn't fully trusting God because I'm not jumping through each day on top of the world...but my sadness and disappointment isn't out of not trusting that God's timing is perfect and that He is in control and has the perfect Birthmother and baby for us...its just an emotional journey getting there.  On a ride, you often let out screams and gasps, and maybe even a few tears, but you're still confident that you're going to get to the end.  I think that's kind of where I'm at in this process (only mine has involved a lot more than just a *few* tears.) Don't get me wrong-I'm not saying that I don't want to walk through life victoriously, even when things are hard.  I'm just saying that the Lord reminded me that He gave us our emotions, and it's OK to admit the truth behind what you're experiencing, and right now, the truth is that it's hard to wait.   All of that being said, just please pray for patience for us-joyous patience-because I know when we allow God to write our story, the ending is so much more beautiful, and I'm certainly looking forward to our beautiful ending!

Some thoughts on the upcoming Mother's Day...

My heart has been especially heavy for our baby's birthmother these past several days.  Maybe it's just part of me being anxious to meet her, but I think that while that is certainly true, there's more to it than just that.  I feel the Lord has really placed her on my heart for a very specific reason lately...only thing is, I don't know what that reason is, because I don't know anything about this amazing woman.  It's so crazy to think that as we are walking around in Abilene, we could potentially pass her as we're out and never realize it.  It blows my mind to think that this woman is out there right now, selflessly carrying her baby that she is going to choose us to parent.  So many emotions that come up from that though...  I just want to know all about her so I can know how to pray for her and reach out to her.  But not knowing a single thing doesn't change the fact that God has most certainly called me to go to battle on my knees for this woman, and I'm committed to doing just that.  So I just pray for the Lord to direct my prayers and to give me the words that need to be said on her behalf.  He knows what she needs, so I'm seeking Him directly and trusting what He will do with it.

I also can't help but think of our baby's birthmother as we approach this Sunday's holiday: Mother's Day.  As I prepare for this holiday, I think of the blessing I've been given in being a mommy to our little miracle girl.  And then I'm filled with thankfulness at the amazing woman God gave to me as my mother, and the incredible mother God gave to my husband-she molded DH into the man he is today, just as my mother molded me into the woman I am today.  I am so grateful to these women, for their selflessness in serving their families, and I am filled with such love and admiration for them.  But then there's another woman who I can't help but think of as Mother's Day approaches...the woman who will be giving birth to the baby that will make me a mother again...I wonder what kinds of emotions will be going through her head on that day as she's carrying her baby inside of her, maybe not certain on whether or not she is going to be that child's mother...I wonder if it will be a hard day for her in this journey, or maybe it will be a positive day for her.  I don't know...but I do know that I can pray for her as she goes through quite possibly a realm of emotions.  Will you join me in praying for her?

• Pray that she would have clear direction on what decision to make for her baby (to parent or to place for adoption)
• Pray for a peace and calmness to cover her
• Pray that she would draw closer to Christ and find her worth and direction in Him
• Pray that her baby will be safe, healthy, and strong as it develops in her womb.
• Pray that God will prepare us to know how to best minister to her and love her and support her

Thank you for joining me in lifting up these concerns.  I know God is stirring in my heart for a reason, and I want use this time to seek Him fully so I can be fully prepared for what He has for me.

Prayerfully and joyously waiting for your little one...