Dreams...

A recent goal I made for myself is to read through the entire Bible.  I've been reading my Bible since I was a kid, but I've never actually made a commitment to read every single chapter of every single book.  I'm reading one book at a time, but going back and forth between the OT and the NT.  Today's chapters were from the story of Joseph (you know, the guy with the "amazing technicolor dreamcoat" AKA Donny Osmond? lol:) and his dreams.  It's "funny" the timing of things, because I had an interesting dream last night myself...

I should preface this with something: I think God often uses our dreams as a way to speak to us.  Sometimes it's to reveal something to us, even if just to surface a deep emotion or fear.  But sometimes His message can get caught between a few comedic sketches to break things up:)  All of that to say, last night's dream definitely surfaced some of my emotions cushioned by some peculiarity and hilarity!:)

I found myself walking into a hospital room where a woman had just had a baby.  The nurse handed her to me and I realized we had been chosen to adopt this baby.  She was BEAUTIFUL with big round blue eyes, a hint of blonde hair, and the most flawless complexion.  As I went to hold her I stopped myself and instantly had this sinking feeling that the birthmother was going to change her mind.  I tried to put the thought out of my head as me just guarding my emotions, but I couldn't seem to let it go, and at the end of the dream, she did end up choosing to parent the baby.  I thought this was a fear I had pretty much dealt with, but when I woke up this morning I realized how much it's been in the back of my mind.  I continue to tell the Lord we are willing to travel whatever road He has for us, even if that means one like in my dream, but I've also been praying for that not to be His will for us, and to not place a birthmother in our lives that is going to change her mind.  I really feel the Lord is teaching me a lot about honesty with emotions right now-He wants us to be honest in EVERYthing, so He's reminding me that it really is OK to admit when we're frustrated or upset or sad or whatever emotion we are facing, but just to remember He is still God and He is still in control, even when life feels so uncertain and out of control.  I'm also reminded that emotions have two sides--if I never experienced sorrow then how would I fully know the true sweetness in joy?  Anyway, that dream brought about all of those emotions and thoughts for me...

Anyway, enough attempts at deep thoughts for the day...on to the peculiar and funny stuff:)  So after the baby was born, the birthmother suddenly had this gorgeous curly hair sitting underneath this  velvety brgandy antique hat she wore around everywhere with her hospital gown, and she was feeding hershey bars to the baby.  She asked me what I wanted to name the baby and my mother said, "Oh, I know the perfect name!  She looks just like a 'pink'!  You've got to name her Pink!" No wonder the birthmother changed her mind on placing her baby with us after that!  LOL!

Anyway, sorry for the random and strange post.  Just being honest about the happenings of this week in our journey:)

...And as a side note, I most certainly will NOT be naming our child Pink!:-)