Friday, May 25, 2012

Adventures in Barbie-land...and other precious mommy moments...

Mommy and Lucy: 5/24/12
I remember when I was a little girl how much I loved playing with my Barbies and my troll dolls.  The Barbies had a Barbie house and a car I played with and tons of old Barbie clothes that had been my mother's.  (I remember this one beautiful orange ball gown in particular that Skipper always wore to the prom:)  I also had a huge collection of troll dolls (no, I didn't sacrifice anything or get into witchcraft-they were just dolls with fun hair to me:) and I would get a big heavy blanket out and pile it up in the floor creating all sorts of "mountains" and "cottages" with the lumps in the blanket for my "troll village."  I didn't mind playing pretend by myself, but I loved it when someone else would play with me (except when my brother tried to bring his robots into my imaginary world--Barbie only had room for one man in her life, and his name was Ken, not robot!) and I remember one day in particular.  I had my "troll village" all set up and my mother came through the room and sat down and played with me for a bit.  I remember she combed the troll's hair and fixed it in a way I had never seen, and I thought my mother was just the coolest mom ever--not just because of her mad styling skills, but mostly because I just loved that she had sat down to play with me...

I've been reading a book a friend lent to me and it talks about the importance of entering into a child's imaginary world with them.  Children love fairy tales and pretend, so one of the easiest ways to really learn where they're coming from and what they're thinking is to enter into that world of theirs.  I was really convicted when I realized I hadn't been doing much of that with Lucy.  Yes, we spend the majority of our days together-she's like my little shadow, helping me clean and do laundry and get meals ready-and we do fun things together, like blowing bubbles and drawing with chalk on the driveway.  But lately, I guess I haven't really allowed myself to just stop every single thing I was doing (like not be distracted by changing the water in the flower bed while she plays next to me on the driveway) and enter wholly into her world of play.  No phone, no facebook, no clothes for me to fold while she plays on the floor next to me, no scarves to knit or bows to make for someone else...but just to stop everything and play with her.  I'm embarrassed really to even admit that, but I think most moms will understand the pull we feel.  There's always so much to be done and things that seem to demand our attention that we can easily neglect the one thing that doesn't always seem to demand our attention, but truly needs it more than anything else.  The dishes will still be in the sink, the clothes will still be in the dryer, and that project will wait another day...but that little four year old girl that God has entrusted to me will appear to be able to wait on me, too, but unlike those other "things" in my life that will go unchanged if I neglect them, my precious Lucy will not.  She is constantly growing, learning, and changing, and if I put her off too long, I'll miss all of those precious moments.  Just like I remember my momma sitting down in the floor and playing dolls with me, I wonder what Lucy will remember about me from her childhood.  Will she remember the mom who was always busy with housework, or will she remember the mom who met her in HER world and just simply enjoyed and engulfed herself in her daughter's presence? 

So, this week i decided to do some special things, just for Lucy.  I got on pinterest and found a tutorial for some dresses, headed for the clearance fabric at walmart, and made us two sets of matching mother/daughter dresses.  Daddy gladly did a little photo shoot for us of the first set of dresses last night (what all of the pictures in my post are from), and I was able to finish up the second set this afternoon.  I can't wait for us to get to wear them somewhere together!  I'm thinking a special date for mommy and Lucy may be in order this week:)  The other thing I felt like she would particularly enjoy is playing Barbies with her.   I often will sit in the room with her as she plays and talk to her as she's playing, but I don't always just set everything aside and join in, so I wanted to make a special effort tonight to do that.  Maybe tonight won't be etched forever into Lucy's memory, but I certainly will never forget the priceless look of excitement on her face when I asked her, "Do you want to go get a few of your barbies and Mommy and you can play together?  Or we can play with your barbie house.  Would you like that?"  Her big blue eyes just lit up and began to dance as she smiled and said in her sweet voice, "YES!  I would LOVE that!"  So off we went to Barbie-land with Princess Cinderella, Rapunzel, Tiana, Jasmine, Belle, Flynn Ryder, Tinkerbell, and "valley girl" Barbie.  She showed me around Rapunzel's tower, and I showed her around Barbie's house.  We looked at Cinderella's artwork on the mantle, warmed up by the fire, put a crazy purple hair extension into valley girl Barbie's blonde mane, and made smoothies:)  Sweet, precious memories with my sweet, precious girl:)

Baby Toller: Growing in our hearts:)
As much as I desire for Baby T to be here now, and as big of a blessing as I know he/she/they will be to our family, I also know that I will never be able to go back to the point in time of being just Lucy's mommy.  Don't get me wrong--yes, we definitely want to expand our family!  What I mean though is that this time is so very precious, and I don't want to waste it by wishing it away to where we are on to the next step in our family's journey, or by missing it because I've busied myself so much with all of the things I think "have" to be done.  I often feel SO much pressure being a stay at home mom, as if people are constantly judging how I'm using the time I have at home.  If the house isn't clean, the laundry caught up, and a home cooked meal on the table, I feel like I've failed and am not meeting up to my "job requirements."  DH works so hard all day, and if he comes home to a messy house and no dinner I feel as if it looks like I've completely squandered away my day.  These aren't expectations that anyone has placed upon me though.  I think I just put a lot of pressure on myself to be who I think everyone else thinks I'm supposed to be, when in reality, I highly doubt anyone else is giving it any thought at all.  I realize that all this time I spend worrying about others thinking I'm wasting my time has ended up causing me to do just that-waste the precious time I've been given!  I want to fully engage myself in the present, for it holds SO many very special moments in it.  Just think of all of the special memories we miss out on, simply because we're too busy to just stop and soak up the moment.  And I'm so thankful for the precious moments this weekend has held for me with my little Lucy!  I'm so blessed that God chose me to be her momma.  I can't wait to meet the other child(ren) God has chosen to be a part of our family, but in the mean time I will savor the one He has already given to us. 

Lucy, You are a blessing!  

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