Saturday, February 23, 2013

Lessons on Love from the Floor of my Foot Tub...

I'm a big fan of the book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  DH and I read it as part of our premarital counseling assignment, and it really taught us so much about how to love one another and even how to understand the actions and reactions of others.  To summarize the book, everyone has their own "language" that they use to speak love to others.  Furthermore, the way you show love to others most is usually how you most easily feel loved by others.  This is where relationships can get into trouble, because typically, a husband and wife don't share the exact same love language, so while you may be thinking you are showing love to your spouse, if you aren't speaking "their" language, then they end up not feeling like they're being loved at all.  DH jokes that I'm more difficult to love because he says I possess ALL five of the love languages:) While some might view this as high maintenance, I say it's just easier to figure out ways to love me because there are so many choices! LOL:)  ANYway, the point that I'm trying to get at is that our KIDS have love languages, too, and I think I've finally figured Lucy's out...

From the moment she got up this morning (which was probably around 6:30...the child seriously has NO concept of "sleeping in" whatsoever!) she was carting around an inflatable foot tub because she wanted to get a pedicure.  I had to keep telling her I PROMISED we would do it, but it had to be later. (A 5 year old with a tub of sudsy water and nail polish isn't something you leave unattended!) I seriously think she brought it up twenty times before baby brother got down for his afternoon nap and I could fully devote my attention to her.  Her face LIT UP when she saw me blowing up her foot tub, and then when she saw me get one out for myself, you would have thought I announced we were going to Disneyland.  She was SO excited to have girl time with Mommy!  We chit-chatted and she ate some snacks while we soaked our feet in special fizzies, then I gave her a special foot massage and painted her toe nails and both our fingernails. It was a special little mother/daughter time (despite me having to constantly tell her "Honey, BE STILL!" as water splashed onto the floor and nail polish smudged onto her skin:) It wasn't timed exactly right though seeing as how by the time we were finished she was extremely cranky from having gotten up entirely too early, so she got put down (unwillingly) for a nap. But, the pedicure itself was a sweet time for just the two of us, and I have a feeling I'll be hearing about it a lot in the weeks to come..."Mommy, remember that time that we put our feet in the water and the bath cookie crumbled around our toes and we painted them?" :-)

All of that to say, the one thing my Lucy-bug loves more than anything is quality time. When she has a phone conversation, she wants to do face time because it's so important to her to be able to look right into your eyes when she's talking to you. She wants your undivided attention (PUT THE IPHONE DOWN for goodness sake...unless you're going to take silly-face pictures together!) and just wants to be WITH you, with no distractions. She's a very social little girl, but one on one time is very important to her.  She's never been big on playing with toys UNLESS someone is right there playing with her, so sending her to play in her room by herself is basically like a punishment. This is probably why, despite never letting her sleep in bed with us when she was a baby, now that she can crawl out of bed we usually wake up at some point at night with her in bed with us--she wants to be near you and with you. From the time she started toddling around I referred to her as my little shadow, because she would follow me from room to room.  I'm kind of surprised it took me this log to figure out how important quality time is for Lucy, but I'm glad I have because it helps me know how to best speak love to this little girl that I do love so very dearly!

As I was drying her feet off today, I thought back to a few days ago when DH was reading her bedtime Bible story which was about Jesus washing the disciples' feet. This was an act of service and an outward expression of love Jesus showed to his closest friends. As I began painting Lucy's toes, I realized that this fun little girly activity of ours was a way for me to serve my little girl--it was a way for me to pour out love to her in a way that would truly speak to her. It was such a simple act, but also very profound. It made me realize how we so easily overlook the simple actions we can make that can have such profound impacts on those around us. We are faced with multitudes of situations each day where we have the opportunity to pour our lives out in service to show love to others--are we missing out on them though because of being too focused on our own selves, just like we so easily miss out on showing love to our spouse and children because we only speak it in the way that touches us more deeply? Just some thoughts to ponder from the depths of my little plastic foot tub;-)


  1. I love love this so much!!! These r special times, don't ever take them for granted... I speak from experience... So many times, I was too busy for my little girl and now I want that time right now so badly!!!

  2. "A 5 year old with a tub of sudsy water and nail polish isn't something you leave unattended!"

    Especially that early in the morning! ;-) I left Brandon unattended sometimes early in the morning, and he managed to find things to create a problem.

    I know what you mean, Kenett. I was too busy for mine a lot of times, too.