Wednesday, February 6, 2013


I was excited to hear from Gabriel's birthmother today that she received her package in the mail today with the pictures, letter, etc. I posted about last week.  The above photo/quote is one I saw on FB this week that made me think of her immediately.  This is what I posted about that picture:  
I often hear "I don't understand how a mother couldn't want her baby," but that is not the case at all with most adoptions. Gabriel's birthmother is the most selfless woman I know, and he is such a blessed little boy to be wanted and loved by so many because of his birthmother's decision.   

In her note to me today, she said: I love you all so much and thank God every day for you and the wonderful thing you have done to agree to be his family.  He looks so happy and I know he is. 

I could feel the tears welling up in my throat and trying to make their way to my eyes as I read her words.  I just can't even begin to express the love and respect we have for this incredible woman.  I've not really shared many details of what happened the day we got to take Gabriel home from the hospital, but imagine this...a woman loving her son so very much that she is able to look completely beyond her own self and do what she felt would be the very best thing for him.  As she tried to hold back her tears, she said goodbye to him and placed him in my arms.  Then she hugged me and said, "Thank you."  

I was speechless.  

This woman was giving me the most amazing gift, yet she was the one thanking me.  I will never forget that moment in all of my life.  It was the most beautiful picture of love I have ever seen played out before me...but it wasn't all "warm and fuzzy" feeling like we think of when we think of love.  It was drenched in tremendous grief and sorrow.  It was and remains to be a reminder to me that doing what is best is often not what is easiest and how we should never make our choices based on the response that they will get or the emotions they will bring about.  

I made the "mistake" once of praying for God to teach me how much He really loves me...and it was one of the most painful processes of my spiritual walk!  I learned that to understand God's love for us, we must also understand His pain.  When we look at the picture of love He has given us, it is one painted with nail-pierced hands.  He endured the greatest sacrifice so that we might receive the greatest gift ever known.  There was nothing easy about what Jesus had to endure, but he looked beyond Himself and towards His Father.  And when I think back to that day in the hospital almost 8 months ago when I saw such sacrifice and love displayed right before me, I am reminded of the greatest sacrifice of all--my Jesus dying for MY sins so that I might live. And that's why, as Christians, we are called to look to HIM and allow Him to guide us.  We are called to die to self, just like Gabriel's birthmother chose to do as a mother.  Every day, I strive to be that kind of mother to my children, but more importantly, I pray I can be selfless in every aspect of my life so that I can allow my Jesus to shine through me.


  1. Tears welled up in my eyes, too, reading this. Having lost my own child to death 29 years ago today, I can well imagine the grief she went through then, and undoubtedly is still experiencing. I am so glad you are keeping in touch, so she does not have the fear of the unknown. Love you guys!

    1. ((((Cindy))))) I didn't realize that was today. I'm so sorry for y'all's loss, and I can't even begin to imagine that kind of grief. I recently told a friend this on the anniversary of her baby's death and thought of it again when I read your comment: oh to be able to fulfill God's purpose for your life in such a very short while...your dear daughter most certainly made an impact for the Kingdom, and continue to do so through her family.